Am I a good friend?

I always wonder if I am a good friend. From the endless encounters in the past where friends unfriend me back in primary school days, conflicts and unhappiness in secondary school, people badmouthing me in poly days. It's like I can't escape this fate to the extent I have to tell myself to not harbour any hopes. Just treat whoever treat you seriously as friends beside you and those that secretly hate you, just forget about it. So once i know someone dislike me, its hard to gain the trust and friendship back which might be a good or bad thing. But to me, its just the extra protection I give myself so I won't risk seeing myself getting hurt in the future.

Life has been pretty sucky this period and I don't know why things can't stop happening one after another. I try to promise the next post will be something happy or maybe at least some past events update to liven up this boring blog. Things keep happening that make me think a bit more, cry a bit more, stress a bit more and give up on life a bit more. Sometimes it makes me wonder is it something I should go through or its a sign that I'm really getting older that's why all these nonsense start to kick in. But whatever the case, I know it will all end. And I just hope whatever decisions I make, outcome it turned out, I won't regret it. Cheers to a better life ~